t.rex: I WAN OUT. I AWAKE. I HUNGY. G.I. JOE DA MAN.
me: It's 5am. It's night time. Go back to sleep.
me: *collapses on his bed and falls into coma*
t.rex: *lays down, pats my head, rubs snotty nose all over my face crooning the theme song to G.I. Joe until 6am*
me: I should probably consider showering. I smell like con.
t.rex: I WANNA WATCH A MOOBIE.
me: Okay. Which one?
t.rex: Rapunzel Transformers She-Ra He-Man Shrek with Puss in Boots Sky High.
me: Choose one.
t.rex: NO I WATCH ALL DA MOOBIES.
me: Choose one, or no movie.
t. rex: PUNZEL PUSS.
me: Okay. Here's Tangled.
t.rex: NOOOOOOOOO I WANT SKY HIGH!
me: Too bad. You get Tangled.
t.rex: *has fit*
me: *puts in movie, waits for him to settle down and become catatonic*
t.rex: (5 minutes after start of movie) I HUNGY.
me: It's 9:30. You've already had two breakfasts. You can have a cheese stick or a banana.
t.rex: NO DAT'S GOSE. I WANNA BAR.
me: You can't have a bar for breakfast. You get one bar a day, when Sister gets home from school, or else you turn into an annoying little granola bar junkie who poops sand.
t.rex: I WAN TWO BARS.
me: You can have some toast.
t.rex: I DON WAN TOAST. I JUST WAN BUTTER.
me: You cannot eat a stick of butter.
t.rex: DEN I WAN A SPOON FULL OF JELLY.
me: You are the most ridiculous human being I've ever met, and you're only 3.
t.rex: NO I NOT. I AMB FIVE!!!!!!
t.rex: ALSO I AM PUSS IN BOOTS DUKE AND YOU ARE KITTY SOFT PAWS SCARLET. *gives best hug in the world* I WUB YOU, EVIL KITTY SOFT PAWS SCARLET.
me: I love you, too, Evil Puss in Boots Duke.
t.rex: AND SISTER IS LADY JADE AND DADDY IS EVIL FLINT AND KIKI IS HE-MAN'S CAT.
me: Wait. What are you wearing?
t.rex: I BEING HE-MAN. HE DUDDN'T WEAR PANTS. HE JUST WEAR UNDERWEAR AND GALOSHES AND HAS A GUN. *gesticulates at crotch like I'm a moron*
me: I think you are deeply confused.
t.rex: NO I IZZN'T! I AM HE-MAN! BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL, G.I. JOE IS DERE! A WEEL AMERICA HERO! G.I. JOE DA MAAAAAN! *charges off in Thomas the Tank Engine underpants and blue monster galoshes with a pistol holster around his waist and a Clone Trooper gun in hand*
me: Well, maybe I can get something done now...
*CRASH IN OTHER ROOM*
me: *sigh* Maybe not.