No, I'm not pregnant.
No. Nope. Definitely not.
We're talking about possibility here.
And I got a haircut today, and when you have as much hair as I do, it's definitely full of possibility.
Kind of like a hedge maze.
I know the picture's weird, but I drove home with the windows down after a storm, wailing with The Civil Wars and yelling at turkeys. Well, really just this one turkey that hangs out on Rucker Road, and whenever I see him, I roll down my window and scream HEY, TURKEY.
But it's an awesome haircut. I love my stylist-- Elise at Soda Salon in Old Roswell. Our conversation went like this.
her: Wow, it's been a while.
me: Yeah, you gave me such a great haircut that it looked fabulous growing out. And then my bangs staged a mutiny. And I'm partying with Vikings tomorrow. But it's been a while.
her: Oh, yeah! It's been 20 weeks.
me: Um, your memory is creepy good.
her: No. I took my first pregnancy test 15 minutes before you came in, and I was totally crazy, and I'm 25 weeks today, so... I remember it. I'm sorry if I was totally checked out.
me: CONGRATULATIONS! And don't worry-- I was reading a really good book (Boneshaker by Cherie Priest) and totally didn't notice. In fact, I barely remember getting the haircut at all. Oh, because that's the week I made my first book sale! I was also totally checked out.
her: That's funny! We were both oblivious!
me: And yet the hair was awesome!
her: So you might want to make an appointment before I stop working the second week of September.
me: Perfect. My kids will be back in school then. OH MY GOD, BUT WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK?
her: In November. Why?
me: Because I'm going to need an awesome haircut before my book launch party in the Spring.
her: Oh, I'll be back way before then. But if you need something over the holidays, you'll need to book soon. I'm filling up for Thanksgiving and December.
her: People want to look perfect for pictures and parties, I guess.
me: Rich people are weird.
Anybody in Roswell need a good haircut? If you're a new customer and you say I referred you to Elise, we both get $10 off our next service.
And should I get some feather extensions? I've been thinking about it. They have some long ones there that are peacock blue. I can't tell if I'm charmed or trying too hard.
Maybe I'm just charmingly desperate.