Sunday, March 20, 2011
another twisted experiment gone wrong. so wrong.
I wouldn't say I'm a quitter.
I would just say that I figure out when something isn't working and then stop doing it.
In the past five years that I've kept this blog, I've gone off sugar a couple of times, went vegan for several months, and spent an awful lot of time trying to find satisfactory replacements for dairy and cupcakes, for which there are none.
But, honestly, none of those were life changes. There wasn't a EUREKA moment where I realized that I felt or looked any better. And yet, like anybody, I keep thinking there's some secret silver bullet that's going to suddenly clear up my skin, give me energy, help me sleep, and help me instantly drop the 15 extra pounds that have plagued me every single day of my life.
Dr. Krog recently bought this book called TRANSCEND, which is about The Singularity. I know it sounds like a bad Tom Cruise movie, but it's actually a brilliant concept that says that technology is moving at an exponential pace, and if we can just hold on long enough, supercomputers will solve all of our health issues and allow us to live as long as we wish. And the book Transcend contains his theories, recipes, and vitamin regimens to help an aging body last as long as possible.
Of course Dr. Krog and I want to live forever, so we're trying some of Kurzweil's theories. Not in a wackadoo-religious-Tom Cruise-give all your money to the cult leader sort of way. In a "Well, it can't hurt to try to live as long and as well as possible, right?" sort of way.
So we're cutting out caffeine and sugar. We're trying to eat less saturated fat and drink more green tea, even if it sometimes makes us want to yark. And we've replaced Unisom with Melatonin, which actually works really well.
Therefore, I've gone five days without coffee.
Yes, I know that there's such a thing as decaf. But I don't like coffee unless it's beige with flavored powdered creamer and swimming in sugar. So I'm doing chai tea with stevia in the morning. Consequently, by about noon, I am having feverish daydreams about pasta and trying not to keel over. On the upside, I'm actually going to sleep on my own for the first time in years, which has to be helping my liver and kidneys at the very least.
I know I'm going on and on. I guess my main point is that LIFE WITHOUT COFFEE IS HOLY CALAMITY SCREAMING INSANITY WHY THE HELL AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?
But I've heard it gets better. And my skin's a lot clearer.
So it can't be all bad.
In any case, has anybody found their own secret bullet or a perfect regimen?