Saturday, February 19, 2011

bad movie night: haikus

may i introduce
megapiranha?
no? too bad. S/HE'S HERE.
*
cheese fondue was yum
chocolate fondue was yum
movie was... um... chum.

*
starring tiffany.
i think we're alone now, but
greg brady's here, too.
*
ready for the plot?
toothed fish grow, grow nuts, go nuts
awesomeness ensues.

*

the hero is fitch.

a dude. that does stuff. with guns.

just go with it, k?

*

go, fitch, go. save us!
save us by never kissing
that hag tiffany.

*

the effects. dear god.
please don't do your CGI
in MS Paint, yo.

*

hermaphroditic
whale-sized piranhas. that's right.
THEY JUST ATE YOUR MOM.

*
and the fish explode
for no good reason. again,
just go with it, k?
*
a guy just blew up.
fitch shot a flare in his mouth
(NOT EUPHEMISM.)

*

empty car. full car.
even the clothes switch sides. um.
editing might help.

*
this movie is sooooooooooo
much better if you're drinking.
so please pass the Scotch.

*
(to be quite honest
i love living in a world
where this crap exists.)

4 comments:

Taylor said...

If you like Megapiranha, you'll love Sharktopus!

Ericka said...

How can this post have only 1 comment? Your Haikus are works of art and a fitting tribute to a wonderfully bad movie night.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Ericka!

I get more comments when I write about parenting and controversy and... well, that's about it. I guess I should blog about something sexier than Tiffany.

~d.

Anonymous said...

Nothing is sexier than Tiffany. Me-ow!