SNOWPOCALYPSE 2011: A timeline.
10:32pm: Shut up, Twitter, with your Snowpocalypse warnings! It's dry and dark outside. There is no snow. YOU LIE!
11pm: OH MY STARS, IT'S LIKE GOD'S BUILD-A-BEAR! THERE'S FLUFFY CRAP EVERYWHERE! IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE!
11:02pm: I put on a fuzzy pullover and some wedges and run outside in the dark, cackling and throwing snowballs at my own windows.
4:30am: t.rex wakes up.
5:00am: t.rex besmirches himself with filth. I clean it up in the dark.
6:00am: t.rex cries again. I decide I'm going mad.
6:30am: I put the biscuit in t.rex's room and lock them in and proceed to have a marvelous dream in which my bed is in a lush, green field under a flowering dogwood, and the flowers are glowing in the moonlight.
6:32am: Dr. Krog wakes me up to listen to the children laughing sweetly about diapers on their heads. I growl and try to get back into the dream about sleeping.
7:13am: I give up, and we all wake up for breakfast.
8:30am: SNOW TIME. I begin to dress the children.
9:00am: Entire family is dressed. It's going to be great! We take our first steps outside into 6 inches of fluffy white snow, the most I've seen since the blizzard of 1994.
9:01am: Yay, snow!
9:01:32am: What is this marvelous stuff?
9:01:53am: Wow. It's deep. And cold. And sticky. But we'll have an adventure!
9:02:15am: Time to go sledding!
9:03:02am: Huh. That didn't work as well as we thought it would. Box = not that aerodynamic, actually. But I'm going to make a SNOW ANGEL!
9:03:56am: Holy God, that is almighty cold. And it's all sticking to me. And I can't feel my hands. Or my ass.
9:04:06am: Let's get the heck out of here. RETREAT! RETREAT!
9:04:11am: And leave destruction in our wake, like REAL AMERICANS!
9:15am: After stripping 3 layers of clothes, chucking 2 pounds of snow on the wood floors, and having a Full Family Whine Fest regarding the fact that SNOW is quite COLD, we settle down for hot chocolate and snow ice cream. Much more our speed.
Thanks, SNOWPOCALYPSE. It was a great four minutes.