Friday, January 7, 2011

religious studies of the very young

biscuit: Those trees are CREEPY!

me: I think they're pretty. I love stark black winter trees against a deep blue sky.

biscuit and daddy: (sigh)

biscuit: No, they're creepy.

daddy: Definitely creepy.

biscuit: It's like Shadow Weaver showed up in Weather Wood and cast a spooky shadow spell!

daddy: Uh, is that, like, in Care-A-Lot?

biscuit: No!

daddy: Forest of... erm... Feelings, then? Or Ponyopolis?

biscuit: (rolling eyes) No, daddy. It's in She-Ra, Princess of Power.

daddy: Clearly, you actually pay attention to detail when it's poorly animated.

me: Did you ever notice how in the 80's, cartoon characters were named for their personality traits? I mean, it's not like Shadow Weaver's mom was like, "This baby will one day weave shadows!" Or like Cat-Ra came out with a tail.

daddy: Naw, they chose those names. They're definitely alter egos.

me: Oh, so when Bogey discovered he was a talking orangutan and left the jungles of Borneo to venture to some random, poorly attended zoo, he was like, "Hey, I mysteriously sound just like Humphrey Bogart! That's my new name!" Because how does a great ape even know about the Rat Pack?

biscuit and daddy: (in unison) Oh, mommy. What does that even mean?

me: THE SHIRT TALES. SOMEBODY?

biscuit and daddy: (silence)

me: I am so misunderstood.

biscuit: It's too bad that people fight on that planet so we can't go see where he died.

daddy: Um, do you mean Omega Supreme?

biscuit: NO, daddy. I MEAN GOD.

daddy: I think you mean Israel, right? The country of Isreal? Where Jesus is buried?

biscuit: JESUS IS BURIED IN ISRAEL?

daddy: Something like that.

biscuit: Oh. I always thought he was buried on Highway 92.

me and daddy: (shaking with supressed giggles)

daddy: No, sweetheart. He lived and died far away.

me: In a hot place with lots of deserts and sand.

biscuit: Oh, gosh. I hate deserts SO SO MUCH. THEY ARE SO HOT!

me: Dude, have you ever been to a desert?

biscuit: Yeah. But where is God buried?

daddy: God isn't really a person that lived and died. He's like a spirit, and he's everywhere. And Jesus was born as his son, and then he lived for a while, and then he died and came back to life, according to the Bible.

biscuit: Oh. Is that like when Optimus Prime came back as Rodimus Prime?

me and daddy: Uh...

daddy: Yeah, dude. Something like that. Whatever they're teaching you in Episcopalian preschool, I just love you.

biscuit: And I LOVE YOU!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Jesus is buried at Highway 92, behind the Radio Shack. Near Trickum Road. Duh!