biscuit: Mommy, I am being the girl version of Scoopy Doo. My name is Shaggyla. Do you want to play? You can be the girl version of Shaggy.
me: (whispering) Sorry, buddy. Pretty sure I'm rockin' the bronchitis. I just want to sit here, drinking coffee and being miserable as I drown in my own throat.
biscuit: Maybe you could be her, but like you? You could be the girl version of Shaggy, but really really sick and in the hospital?
me: Sure, sweetheart. That sounds great. I'm the girl version of Shaggy, and I'm convalescing in an iron lung in an orphan hospital, and I can't talk or move.
biscuit: Okay. Your name is Scoopyla. Let's play.
me: I'm already playing.
biscuit: THIS IS FUN! I love playing with you, Mommy!
me: And I love playing with you, in part because your expectations are so low.
I can fly
I can shiver
it's a very very great day
cripes were born in Bethlehem
and I am the girl dog
who is a singer
BUT OH MY NO
THAT'S MY MONEY
YOU SHOULD ASK BEFORE YOU SPILL MY MONEY
I WAS SINGING ABOUT BABY JESUS
AND YOU RUINED IT.
Brother, quit playing the piano
that is not a good song
I can't dance to that
MOM, HE IS PLAYING THE PIANO WITH HIS BOTTOM!
And that's the first thirty minutes of my morning.
I think the next stop might be the doctor.