Tuesday, August 10, 2010

my first picture book


A is for Admiral Ackbar at Apple: IT'S AN APP!

B is for Admiral Ackbar working at Joanne's: IT'S BURLAP!

C is for Admiral Ackbar as a gynecologist: IT'S THE CLAP!

D is for Admiral Ackbar in O Brother, Where Art Thou? IT'S THE DAP!

E is for Admiral Ackbar bemoaning his desire to buy cereal on sale at the store: IT'S THE ENDCAP!

F is for Admiral Ackbar at Starbucks: IT'S A FRAP!

G is for Admiral Ackbar wanting a nice pair of chinos: IT'S THE GAP!

H is for Admiral Ackbar learning annoying slang: IT'S WHAT'S HAP!

I is for Admiral Ackbar being a very bad Egyptian archaeologist: IT'S IMHOTAP!

J is for Admiral Ackbar remaining completely PC as he studies the Journal of Applied Psychology: IT'S A JAP!

K is for Admiral Ackbar struggling to figure out why he's discussing Kite Aerial Photography at all: IT'S KAP?

L is for Admiral Ackbar running track: IT'S A LAP!

M is for Admiral Ackbar studying cartography: IT'S A MAP!

N is for Admiral Ackbar as an angry narcoleptic: IT'S A NAP! SO SHUT UP!

O is for Admiral Ackbar buying fancy cufflinks in the UK: IT'S ORLAP!

P is for Admiral Ackbar as the same gynecologist, trying to tell the patient with the clap not to be quite so frightened: Chill out, lady, IT'S JUST A PAP!

Q is for Admiral Ackbar making up his own word in Scrabble to get extra points: IT'S QUIJIBOYAP!

R is for Admiral Ackbar losing himself in the music, the moment: IT'S A RAP!

S is for Admiral Ackbar screaming in rage at VH1: IT'S SCOTT STAPP!

T is for Admiral Ackbar lauding the wonders of indoor plumbing: IT'S A TAP!

U is for Admiral Ackbar playing Magic: The Gathering: IT'S AN UNTAP!

V is for Admiral Ackbar discussing the reproduction habits of the boa constrictor in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, you know, the one that has all the creepy baby snakes come slithering out of it at the table by the monkey brains: IT'S VIVIP(AROUS)!

W is for Admiral Ackbar still holding on to Scary Movie, even though it's like 10 years later: IT'S WAZUUUUUUAP?

X is for Admiral Ackbar cleaning off his boot while his wife grumbles: IT'S OX CRAP!

Y is for Admiral Ackbar explaining why he's giving up his chihuahua for adoption: IT'S THE YAP!

Z is for Admiral Ackbar enjoying some Futurama: IT'S THE ZAPP!

*

Okay, now that that's out of my system, I think maybe I can go to sleep.

On a completely unrelated note, did I mention Daybreakers is an interesting movie? It is. So there.

5 comments:

Tanya said...

Once you start at 'A' you have to finish.

It's a TRAP!

amulbunny's random thoughts said...

I am going to copy this and send it to my son who is a star wars fanatic. He'll get a kick out of it!

Thanks!

Eoywin said...

So, so funny!

Alice Istanbul said...

You are mad (but it's one of the reasons I love you so). I believe Jonathan (my nerd boy) will get a kick out of this.

Runs with Granchildren said...

Did you order alphabet soup for dinner? ...and NO, you may NOT move to Minnesota!!
luv,
mom
PS
My word verification for the evening was "binto", which rhymes with "Pinto", which was my very first "clap-trap", but had nothing to do with Colonel What's-His-Name". Apparently, spending the day with your kids produces some sort of mottling-of-the-mind rhyma-thingy...