I'm sure you've been waiting all day for it.*
Here it is.
me: Biscuit, let's make a book of your artwork for daddy's birthday. What should we call it?
Biscuit: It's called... it's called... Jabba Guzzz**. But it's a grown-up book for Daddy. It's not for kids, Mommy. Just for grown-ups.
me: Awesome. See? I wrote the title around it. What would you like to draw inside?
Biscuit: A tornado.
me: Well, let's draw something real, not just scribble. What would make Daddy happy?
Biscuit: A tornado.
me: What about a picture of Daddy, or a sunshine and flowers, or...
Biscuit: A tornado!
me: Anything besides a tornado.
Biscuit: This is a fish, and he is happy. He has a flower. But he doesn't eat it, because he's a fish.
me: Super cool. Now let's draw some pages for him inside.
Very nice. Looks just like him, including his weird chameleon tongue.
There were about 12 pages, and on each, I wrote what she said while she was drawing it. We had a fish pretending to be a shark, a starfish with a volcano, and Biscuit and t.rex riding an alligator that was really daddy.
Speaking of which, as promised, here's Biscuit's drawing of me, next to a drawing of an alligator I made for her.
That nasty drawing of fruit in the corner was a coloring sheet from Thanksgiving that we left on the garage floor, and it all bled together, and she decided it was a fancy watercolor painting.
In other news, did I mention that I almost burned down the house today?
I set the pot of salted spaghetti water on the back burner.
Then I turned on the front burner.
Besides the potholder, one of two in the house, I also lost one of my top 10 possessions.
I received that Pampered Chef stoneware baker as a wedding present at my PC shower, at which there was this totally awesome Unruly Cake with a dark-haired Barbie with a cake for a dress and a cute little apron. After the party, I dumped her into a bowl and ate her.
It was awesome.
But I used that stoneware for everything, and by "everything", I mean making sweet potato fries and brownies. So, like, very frequently. It will be missed.
But I did get a new possession in the mail today, and so there's a new non-living item for me to love with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.
It's that awesome necklace by my dear friend Alice Istanbul of www.istanbuldesigns.etsy.com. It's a letter "D" for "Dummy Who Almost Burns Down the House". And I lurve it.
And I'm very sick.
And that glass of wine just kicked in.
And me and Vampire Diaries are going to go upstairs and snog.***
* Thanks, Mom, for reading.
** Yeah, I misspelled it yesterday all over the blog. Whatever. I do what I want.****
*** Fall asleep snoring.
**** Said in my best Eric Cartman voice, because that episode of South Park totally cracks me up.