Friday, April 2, 2010
i see saw
This is my pinkie.
This is my pinkie after two hours of battling the instructions for my new table saw and then resorting to forced husband mitre-boxing so I could make a surprise art present for someone as related to that whole "good fortune" post a few days ago and then burn myself with the woodburner while threatening to evict my husband from my studio because I can be kind of a jerk when I'm arting.
It went like this.
Dr. Krog bought me a new table saw because he is the most awesome, supportive husband ever. I had no idea one needed a PhD in advanced robotics to put together a simple machine.
The main problem is this guy:
Whatever that is, I'm stymied.
I accidentally typed Stimpied there, but that seemed apropos. I feel about as stupid as Stimpy tonight. Like a complete eeeediot.
Like I'm plagued by Stymphalian birds, too.
You guys remember Ren & Stimpy, right? I used to love that show. Nowadays, I find it sophomoric. In the words of Mr. Horse: No, sir, I don't like it.
Robot Chicken, Frisky Dingo, and Venture Bros., on the other hand, show my highly sophisticated sense of humor. And irony.
In any case, aside from that thingy right up there, the saw is mostly together.
But "mostly" doesn't cut it (ha ha!) when you're talking about a freakin' saw.
If I can ever get all the pieces together, it's going to totally revolutionize my art. See, I love painting on boards, and Home Depot/Lowe's won't cut anything under 12". That means that someone has to saw all of my boards in half for the lovely little 6x6 squares I love so much.
That means this guy has to stop playing Mass Effect and get angry at a saw.
But hopefully, if we can just find some sort of Sanskrit expert with a minor in quantum physics, I'll be able to slice and dice my own boards with this fancy new gadget:
The missing piece, the one that is baffling me, holds the guard on so that I don't slice off my fingers. Pretty important. Saws aren't like Ikea chairs-- you really don't want to have any screws left over.
So until tomorrow morning when Dr. Krog takes a stab at it, it's relaxing bath and Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter for me and this for Dr. Krog:
Aside from that half-hour where I cursed a power tool, went insane, snapped at my family, burned myself, and made very bad jokes about being a jerk, it was a pretty good day.