Friday, March 26, 2010
who are you again?
I'm the girl who makes bizarre kissy faces every time a camera appears, so my mom sneaks up behind me and yells, "Hey, it's a narwhal!" to get my attention.
I'm the boy who does not approve of this touch-a-truck event. How can I touch a truck if I'm confined in this pathetic excuse for a stroller? How can I crawl under the Hummer limo, harass the K-9 police dog, lick the seats of the cement truck, and run away into the crowd, laughing?
You people simply do not respect my art.
I'm the magical fairy princess bellydancer cheerleader in the rhino shoes.
They are not fairy slippers. They don't have glitter.
Tinkerbell does not wear these shoes.
They're rhino shoes. Because they have a rhino horn. I like to wear them when I'm cheerleading or playing the game they taught me in school where I stand in a field and think about Jesus. I don't know what that game is called, but I think it has something to do with cavities.
In other news, the New Vegan Cruelty was especially hard today. There was a speckle of paper on Dr. Krog's sock, and it looked just like the sprinkles on my favorite sort of cupcake at Kroger, and I almost ate his sock. Just in case it tasted like sprinkles.
Yes, I know it's possible to go to a vegan bakery or make vegan baked goods. But the point is that being selectively vegan makes it ridiculously hard to obtain those unnecessary calories.
So for now, I'm just going to pine for sprinkles.