Thursday, January 21, 2010

spring peepers

the Biscuit: What's that, mom?

me: Those are t.rex's boy parts.

the Biscuit: What's it for?

me: Tinkling and stuff.

the Biscuit: And pooping?

me: Um, no. That's what bottoms are for.

the Biscuit: Wow, mom, he *really* likes grabbing that thing!

me: t.rex, did you find your li'l ol' peeper?

the Biscuit: Yeah! He found his peeper! (singsong) He-found-his-peeper! He-found-his-peeper!
Do you like that ol' peeper, little brother, little buddy? He's grabbin' it, grabbin' that peeper. Peeper-peeper-peeper! Do ya like it?

t.rex: (huge smile, tugging on bits) CKCKCKCKCK!

me: Yeah, I think he does.

the Biscuit: Do I have a peeper?

me: Assuredly not. You have girl parts.

the Biscuit: Yeah, that's why I have to wear my Princess Tiana underpants.

me: Yes.

the Biscuit: But daddy has a peeper.

me: Well, buddy, that's personal. We don't really talk about that.

the Biscuit: Does daddy like his peeper, too?

me: I'm sure he's glad to have it.

the Biscuit: Will I have a peeper when I grow up?

me: Not without a lot of expensive surgery.

the Biscuit: Huh? Like surgery on daddy's leg?

me: No, buddy, I was just being funny. Would you like some cantaloupe?

the Biscuit: Naw, I just wanna sing about Baby Brudder's peeper.

*

A child's mind is a fertile, fertile place. I'm not going to tell her proper nouns until she learns to show some discretion.

I just don't want to talk about vulvas in the check-out line at Target.

9 comments:

Southern Belle Mama said...

Yes, those conversations are always fun with little ones! Mine are reverse, big brother-little sister and he thought she lost her "peeper!"

Emile said...

You are totally cracking me up over here...!

Crystal said...

Hilarious! She's just too cute. Thanks for sharing these conversations. They make me smile.

Jennifer said...

I totally don't blame you.

charissimo said...

Yeah, I had a friend whose husband took their three year old daughter to the grocery store. He was putting her in the cart seat and she slipped a little and yelled "DADDY, YOU'RE HURTING MY BAGIDA!!!"

Leslie said...

Had two of each and had this sort of conversation with all four, thank the gods they are grown now and only taking about getting laid in the check out line...

tattooedblogger said...

...Or asking if it's an 'outie"

Katiri said...

neighbor j (age 4) as she watched her mom change my son's dipe: Mommy what's that?

J's Mom: That's Joey's penis.

J: Oh, I LIKE peanuts!

veganf said...

She'll learn proper names for them in preschool then! LOL