Thursday, January 7, 2010

pasta la vista, kiddo.


At a lovely playgroup this morning, we couldn't help but notice that toddlers seem to have some sort of a sick, twisted sixth sense for recognizing when an adult is about to use the restroom, eat, or enjoy something.

That's the time to request a milkshake or eat a needle.

So I created that graphic up there to show kidvision. It's like Terminator-vision, but it's what your kid sees.

I dare you to test it.

Tomorrow, when your younger child is napping, run yourself a bubble bath and take a box of chocolates up there. Set your older child up watching the Broadway version of Peter Pan with Cathy Rigby. You'll think that kid is mesmerized, and you'll smile smugly on your way up the stairs.

But the second you slide into the water and select a caramel, your child's kidvision will start beeping, and their eyes will narrow and slide sideways, and they will instantly be at your side, playing a kazoo and screaming, "MOMMY, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM CAN I HAVE A COOKIE?"

And what do you get in return?

That sense that lets you know when someone is screwing with the thermostat or regifting something.

And one day, your kid will inherit it.

It's the circle of life, man.

The circle of life.

3 comments:

Katiri said...

so true. even worse than poop, is when dealin w/menses, and not wanting to explain it/terrify yr 7yo son....

Leslie said...

OMG, don't even go there, they think they rule the world already. LMAO, thanks as always...

Beth said...

Preach it! I have 4 kiddos ages six and under, so I NEVER have a moment of peace until bedtime. And my husband wonders why I stay up until 1:00 a.m. just enjoying life without interruptions.
Oh, to take a shower without wondering what destruction is taking place in my 5 minute absence. Just wait, in a few months T-rex will be a walking tornado just like my 20 month old son...who loves pushing chairs up to the kitchen counter in order to climb up and scare me to death with cutlery. Insanity.