Sunday, September 27, 2009
hello again, book boyfriend
I've revealed several of my boyfriends: old, recently dumped, tv adventurer, tv cubicle, polygamist, omelet-loving.
I think that's all of them. I feel a little slutty now, actually.
But today I'd like to introduce you to my long-time book boyfriend. Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. Yes, if you click that, it's going to take you to Wikipedia and give lots of spoilers. Your only alternative it to *not* click the link, put on some houseslippers, and run to the nearest used bookstore to purchase the greatest book you'll ever obsess about, despite your cool exterior.
You know how moms who like Twilight, or TwiMoms, wear shirts like this?
Don't ask me how I know about that. Don't friggin' ask me.
Well, sometimes, I feel I need a shirt that says:
It all began in 2000 when I moved to Clemson, SC with a raging case of uninsured pneumonia that lasted 3 months. I was a broke invalid in a new town, and I desperately needed something to do all day while I hacked lungbits into Bi-Lo brand tissues. And that's when I saw Outlander in a used book store for $2 and said, "Hey, I think someone recommended that to me once. The cover looks lame, but I'll give it a try." And Dr. Krog made fun of me. Naturally.
That afternoon, I started reading it.
At 4am, I fell asleep on my face, clutching the precious, precious tome to my disease-ridden chest. It was love.
The next morning, I dragged my unwieldy carcass back to the used bookstore, waited 20 minutes for them to open, and bought the next three books in the series. I have read every book repeatedly, finding them all to be brilliant, not to mention long and engrossing. The quality never wavers. The characters remain crisp, true-to-form, and intriguing. The history is well-researched and rendered with unrivaled color and depth. And Dr. Krog bought me the newest book today, and I am already enraptured.
And there's this smart, multitalented, half-Viking-berserker-half-Renaissance-man Scot in a kilt who is rumored to be the sexiest male protagonist in the history of literature.*
But you didn't hear that from me, cuz I ain't one to talk.
I'm not going to give spoilers or a timeline or anything like that. And I can't Photoshop myself into any images, because no one has yet decided to turn this cash cow into a movie that will bring millions of women together to drool, cry, and laugh. You've got to try it yourself. To be honest, Outlander doesn't really get going until about 100 pages in.
If you can get to page 100, you're going to be Outlander's bitch.
And you're going to love it.
*If I could get Dr. Krog in a kilt and write a book about him, Jamie would be #2.