Saturday, August 29, 2009

barbie FTW = WTF?

,
There she is. The instrument of my undoing. Farbie.

Fairy Barbie, to be exact, because a) the Biscuit loves fairies, and b) she was by far the cheapest Barbie at Target. And I needed an anorexic but buxom pantsless doll popping out of my toddler's cake.

It was like this:
Fairy Barbie = $5.98
Tinkerbell = $9.99
Disney Princess Smorgasbord including New Multicultural Princess because it's about friggin' time Mr. Disney, jeesh = $60.

So Fairy Barbie it was. Or Farbie, as I like to call her.

But that's not the whole story of this FAIL turned epic WIN. It started with a bundt cake pan and the recipe for pumpkin-chocolate cake. I doubled the recipe and planned to use a bundt pan on top of a round pan so that the cake would go all the way up Barbie's endless gams. But the cake was waaaaaay too thick, and I only ended up with enough mix to fill the bundt, and then it looked like this:


So that was a FAIL. Naked fairy chick knee-deep in crap cake! And I only had one egg left!

So I pulled out the box of brownie mix I've been planning on whipping up as a thank-you to the girls at The Coffee Park, and I made half a batch of brownies, which refused to come out of the pan and looked like this:


Yay! Second FAIL of the day. Instead of nice, dense, square brownies to pack around Farbie, I had hot brownie mud. So I used it like clay and just molded the brownie around Farbie's legs and up to her waist in a loose approximation of a dress. And then I iced the crap out of that Farbie using a cupcake decorating set I bought at Michael's.

Oh, and she had a giant 3 on her butt.


Here's what she looked like on the inside, in case you're wondering what it would look like to dissect a Farbie cake.



IT LOOKED LIKE UTTER DELICIOUSNESS.

Every slice was an amalgamation of brownie, icing, and rich pumpkin-devil's-food cake. It was so rich as to seem almost naughty. Although we did smear some purple icing over her crotch, for propriety's sake. Nothing says "Happy 3rd Birthday!" like staring at some triumphant naked lady's bajingo, eh?

And here's what she looked like on fire:


I raised her arms up so they wouldn't catch flame and set off the fire alarm and cause children to cry as Farbie's arms and face melted off like something from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Toy Chest.

And here is what she made my daughter look like as we sang Happy Birthday:


Check in for tomorrow's Party Post, showing the Biscuit and some of her dearest royal friends and subjects partying down to the tune of Blue Danube on a raging sugar high.

I gotta say it: for a toddler birthday party, it was a lot of fun. Thanks for coming, everybody!

And please stop by soon for another slice of Farbie. We've got a loooot of Farbie left over. And Farbie-it-from-me to keep anyone from a well-deserved sugar high.

121 comments:

Virginia Valerie said...

OMG this made me laugh!! I love your Farbie cake - it's fantastic! You've got mad skills, woman! Thanks for the good read! Looks like Biscuit had a great time. :-)

Shawn said...

Loved the Barbie Fairy cake----so great!!

Happy Saturday Sharefest---spread the love!

Caroline D. said...

twas a magical party! thanks for having us!

I'm afraid to show this ti Alexander cause he was all pouting that i didn't bring some home for him...

Ash said...

epic fail turned huge success-- always a plus! :)

Jane said...

What a fantastic cake! I wish I had your talents! Great job, mom!

faemom said...

Love the last line!
Ok, you did an awesome job! Great creative skills!
And you're going to hate me for saying this, but they do make cakepans to make doll cakes. Yeah, I was one of those princess-Barbie types. I could have sent my mother's over to you.

Mary @ The Writer's Block said...

Farbie is adorable! And I'm loving your blog. Your writing is so witty.

Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!

nelahjo said...

This will be with me all day long and people will wonder why I am randomly smiling...I will mumble...Farbie.....

Motherhood Uncensored said...

You are a better mother (and baker) than I.

charissimo said...

You are the best mom ever. And you're smokin' hot, by the way. Barbie's got nothing on you, sister.

laterg8r said...

love how you made it work :D

Wendy said...

Happy birthday, Biscuit! And congrats to you -- it looks like you threw a fantastic party!

You were much smarter than I was. My sprout just turned two and we had a zillion people over... it was totally overwhelming.

Sheila said...

Fyi for future reference, we make this cake at our house with a bundt pan and usually buy a cheap barbie at the dollar store one in which you can put an elastic band around her cheap legs to make her shorter. Then you wouldn't need the brownie mix. Your cake turned out great anyways.

That One Mom said...

Stopping by from SITS. What a great way to make a 3 year-old smile! Well done!

Lisa in Oz said...

BAHAHAHAHA! I love this! Hilarious post and I have to say that I find it awesome that you put an icing rose over one of her bewbs. :-D

Melissa said...

How cute! what a great idea =) Happy sits day!

Cairo Typ0 said...

Looks like she loved the cake! LOL If it makes you feel better, when i saw the first pic i thought it looked perfect! :)

Maven said...

Your Farbie is fabulosity at its finest :-)

Mary said...

You know the delight in your daughter's eyes is all that matters in the end anyway. Good job though!

Happy SITS Day.

cat said...

Great Barbie cake girl. GO look at mine - http://juggelingactoflife.blogspot.com/2009/02/big-4th-birthday-part-3.html

The Dapper Darling said...

what a good mom...look at all the effort you put in! So cute!

MrsM said...

So funny-I love when my big fat messes turn out awesome. It happens so rarely, but it's so wonderful!

Complicated Mama said...

You are a super hero mom for sure!

The cake came out awesome!

Its amazing the lengths we go to just to get that lite up smile on our kids.

I just had a similar nightmare with making an Astroboy costume- they dont make astroboy costumes, so I had to get creative.... and well---

your cake came out better.

But my son thought he was the man at his Preschool Fall Festival, and thats all that matters lol

Quasi Serendipita said...

This really made me giggle! I think the cake looked great in the end!

Quasi Serendipita said...

This really made me giggle! The finished cake looked great!

Yaya said...

I've done a barbie cake before..MUCH easier if you merely break her legs off and sit her in the hole. ;)

Fruitful Vine2 said...

Great save. Looks awesome!

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

You are SO creative, what an unusual cake! Your Biscuit looked very pleased indeed--what a success!

Elizabeth said...

Awww, that's wonderful, so great! Now that's love. Happy SITS Day!

San said...

Farbie was sacrificed for a good cause. :)

Biscuit looks absolutely jubilant! I'm sure she had a blast!

Jess @ Frugal with a Flourish said...

Hahahaha! Hysterical and it came out beautiful! Congrats for pulling it off Momma! (Oh and happy SITS day!)

singedwingangel said...

Okthat right there is one reason I am so grateful to have boys. Cause had I actually HAD a girl she would be into frilly stuff like that and I could have NEVER pulled anything near that cute outta anywhere. And the ingenuity!! That was awesome...

Queenie Jeannie said...

I've never been crazy enough to even attempt those kinds of cakes. Hats off to ya!!

Christine said...

You are way too awesome! I loved this post and all the behind-the-scenes that went into Farbie's debut.
Yummy post!

Astrid said...

OMG! I'm LOL!!!!

That Farbie cake is the BEST! Actually...you did a beautiful job decorating it! I'm pretty sure mine would have looked like Farbie had hit a brick wall or something. LOL!
Happy SITS day!

Sonja, Queen of Crafts said...

*hahahaha* the Fails always turn into the best Wins. Well done and great creativity.

The Mommyologist said...

What we won't do for our kids!

Angelia Sims said...

HA! That's awesome! Loved her face when she her Farbie cake.

La Belle Mere UK said...

I love that you stuck a doll in a cake. Priceless.

Cristina said...

This made up for me not having any caffeine this morning!

I love this - my flavorite part? Pics of the mini-sasters along the way topped by Biscuit's eyes all lit up!

Happy SITS day!

Cristina

Mallory said...

Coming from SITS. This post was HILARIOUS! I absolutely loved it.

pk said...

This post was so funny! Thanks for the great laugh to start the day... :-)

pk @ Room Remix

{leah} said...

I'm totally impressed!!! I don't do babries... {I only have boys} but I'm sure it was worth the smile on her face!

Happy SITS day!

Cara and Jenn said...

Hi from SITS! That was so funny. I made one of those back in the day for my daughter...but yours was definitely more fun.

Congrats on your day!

Kmama said...

Stopping over from SITS. I'm just impressed that you even attempted that cake!

tinahead81 said...

crisis averted!! i love it when a plan comes together! great job!

happy sits day!

Kelly said...

Baking disaster turned awesome, I love it.

Creative Junkie said...

OMG.

I'm going to walk around all day saying "bajingo" now.

Sara said...

Congratulations on your success! I'm glad Farbie's bajingo was covered... and not on fire.

Eva Gallant said...

That was so funny! bajingo? LOL That turned out to be a fabulous Farbie cake.

Congrats on being the FB of the day! Enjoy!

Jen said...

Congratulations on your SITS feature day! This cake reminds me of when I tried to make Rocket from Little Einsteins! :D

Hoity Toity Baby said...

niiiiiiccccceee!

sweetjeanette said...

Stopping by from SITS. What's that old saying? "Necessity is the mother of invention"... you did a great "save"!

sweetjeanette.blogspot.com

withoutadornment said...

Hahaha! That is too funny - nice save!

Happy SITS Day!

Kerri said...

Oh my GOSH woman you are too funny. Bajingo??? That's a new one! Happy SITS day!
Kerri
www.sickofmg.blogspot.com

Kim @ Cheap Chic Home said...

Thanks for my laugh this a.m. I have made a Barbie (not to be confused with her cousin, Farbie). I cooked my cake batter in a mixing bowl and used the Kelly doll-smile! Looks like you had more fun.
Happy SITS day.

AmberRay said...

First of all, I love the cake. You did a great job. Second, your daughter is absolutely the most adorable girl next to mine of course LOL. But, she is a little cutie who looks like momma. Happy Sistas day too.

Lacie @ Creative Attempts said...

I havent had a post make me laugh so hard in ages. I have done countless projects that have not gone quite the way that I planned but you pulled it out it looks so great!!

Heather said...

That was just too funny. Way to make the most out of what could have been a mess. I'm sure your daughter didn't even know! She just knew she had a cool cake.

Happy SITS day!

Funny in my mind said...

How cute! You are so creative!

Rook No. 17 said...

You are hilarious SITSta! Looks like Biscuit had a wonderful birthday. As a professional cake artist and pastry chef I can say with conviction: your creative thinking and improvisisation are the stuff that the pros are made of! Jenn @ rookno17.blogspot.com

I did a post a month back about Polly Pockets that you might get a kick out of. Swing by and check it out if you have a mo.

Joy said...

At one point Farbie looked like she got caught with her pants down at a bachelor-party-gone-wrong. LOL

Your daughter's reaction was priceless! That cake did look pretty awesome. :o)

Congrats on your SITS day!

The Girl Next Door Grows Up said...

That is awesome! Way to go for baking it yourself!!

Happy SITS day :)

lauren said...

hahaha ...amazing.

thanks for sharing with your SITSas!

Janet said...

Oh my, this is fabulous, in such a wrong kind of way! Stopping by to wish you a happy SITS Day!

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

Closing line = epic!

elasticwaistbands said...

good thing you were making that and not me...i would have taken farbie's legs off to make her fit...

and when the cake was opened, it would have caused serious, irreperable damage to the psyche of those girls in attendance.

good job on the cake!

Tonya said...

The cake turned out great!

aforestfrolic said...

Oh my goodness, that looks like a fun cake to try, tee hee! Your daughters face is priceless.

Jamie :)

Michelle said...

it looks pretty good...but I dont think i could eat it...looks too sweet.

Christina said...

Hahaha I would've given up on the cake LONG before you did... but you also would've been dealing with the teary toddler.

Congratulations on making success out of disaster!

Young Wife said...

Wow. First of all I am always impressed with Super Moms who decorate cakes for their kids birthday. And second, your daughter looks so happy. Happy SITS Day!

jonewman said...

WOW!!! Way to stick with it and you know that smile is always worth it! Thanks for putting a great smile on my face and Happy SITS Day!

Date Girl said...

WOw it turned out great! I would have dissolved into a puddle of tears after the bunt cake part. How resourceful! And Biscuit definitely appreciated it!

The Mom @ Babes in Hairland said...

That's hilarious! I finally broke down and bought the actual pan that is made to do this so I wouldn't have to break another pair of Barbie legs off! :) I've seen those days of TONS of frosting and weird shaped pieces of cake shoved in places to try get things to look like I was hoping. The cake looked great though, and to a 3 year old eye, I'm sure it looked even better! Happy SITS day to you.

Cheryl said...

Happy SITS day!!!! LMBO at that post. It sure looked great to me and you pulled it off and biscut was happy!

Jennifer said...

This is easily one of the funniest things I've ever read. Maybe because I can relate because it sounds so much like something I would do. And isn't it great that our kids don't really care that we are total screwups and only see how great it looks.

Kristin said...

That is too funny! But what a memory! Happy SITS Day!

Divine Mrs D said...

'triumphant naked lady's bajingo'

Yes, I think I may be following you from now on...

Christi said...

That's awesome! It took me back to those magical days when my son was small. All the "little" things we do for our children to make their lives magical and our lives more stressful. LOL!

Love the fact that you pulled it all together and had a beautiful cake for your beautiful little girl!

marit said...

i love blogs that make me laugh out loud! they are rare gems, and this is definitely one of them! thanks for sharing, thanks for being so awesome!

K a b l o o e y said...

Over from SITS and not looking to add to my already teetering reader (well, it teeters in my head) by finding another must-read radical mom-poet. But damn, you had me at the anarchy symbol on the T-shirt. Now I'm a goner. As soon as I finish telling you how incredibly funny you are and how I want to be your new bloggy girlfriend (coming on too strong? um, sorry), I'm going to become a follower. I don't usually do this on first dates, swear.

Miss Know It All said...

Farbie?!! LMAO! Thanks for such an amazing post. Im still laughing. Posts like this will surely have to follow you.

Sevibabyyy said...

Happy SITS day! That is quite a Farbie Cake! I was impressed just reading everything you went through for it.

Brandi said...

Your little one looks so happy. It's a bit of a scary cake, but you pulled it off so well -- and who doesn't love an excuse to get some extra icing on there.

2busy said...

Great creativity in making the cake and writing about it. This was funny. I'm not much of a betty crocker in that way...

Jessica said...

That was AWESOME! I literally choked on my muffin when I read, "Nothing says "Happy 3rd Birthday!" like staring at some triumphant naked lady's bajingo, eh?"

Happy SITS day!

Lindsay Rudolph said...

It turned out great! I once had a similar situation with a coffee cake..only there was no saving it. It ended up in the trash.

Happy SITS Day!

the ungourmet said...

So funny! I liked the "Here's what she looked like on fire." part.

Your little sweetie looks thrilled! :D

The Double Dipped Life said...

Fantastic post! I laughed so hard! But, it came out looking wonderful. Congrats on your SITS day!

Annie @ astonesthrowfrominsanity said...

I am glad someone else had a princess cake moment. When I attempted it, I used a Pampered Chef mixing bowl. It seemed OK until it erupted and overflowed into the oven. FAIL! Apparently there is more than one size of mixing bowl, and I did not take note of that! Kudos to you for making yours work. I went to the local DQ and bought an ice cream cake and then stopped off for a bottle of wine to drink while I cleaned out the oven. :)

Alexandria said...

you are hilar! love your blog..I am so glad SITS featured you!!

Zeemaid said...

*LOL* I too did one of those cakes and am always amazed at how long barbie's legs are. Despite all the mishaps, I love the colours you used for the icing. I think Farbie turne out well! Heck it all tastes good anyways. *LOL*

Happy feature SITS day!

Kat said...

Aren't you an awesome mom?! Because I so would have just gone to the grocery and ordered one of their cakes instead of making my own. And now you have quelled my rampant curiosity of what the Pampered Chef barbie cake would look like when you cut into it.

AmericanTribal said...

LOL, this post was the greatest! I'm totally going to follow your blog. You have a real gift for phrasing things *just the right way* in order to make them absolutely hilarious. :)

And my word verification to publish this post is "alobi"... love it.

LivingInspired said...

Man, I would've given up and ran to the store. Nice job! We had a similar incident attempting to make a rainbow cake. It slid to the side, we had to cut half of it off, and used WAY too much iccing. BLECK. Stupid cakes. Your daughter looked so happy tho! Great job! Stopping by from SITS

Sara's Whimsy said...

Stopping by from SITS and still have no idea how you Moms do all that you do! The cake sounds absolutely delish!

Ma What's 4 dinner said...

Happy SITS! What a great mom you are taking one for the team. Love it, love Farbie! Thank god I got stuck with 3 boys!

alex @ www.mawhats4dinner.com

Sara E said...

how funny! It kind of reminds me of the big boob cake someone made me for my pseudo-bacheloretter party a few years ago

Minnie Mama said...

OMG your post made me crack up laughing! But seriously, you're wicked creative and the finished cake looks amazing!!!

Thanks for a fun blog!

McMom said...

Darn! I have three boys. Do you think this would work with a G.I. Joe doll?

tammy said...

Oh so funny!! I love your bravery in showing a not so perfect cake. Your daughter loved it anyway!!! :)

This year I made a crap cake, too. It was a freakin' disaster and made me want to dig out all the pictures of my past successes just to post them and show I wasn't a failure. I didn't bother to do that...so as far as the world is concerned I rot at birthday cakes. hehe

here's my cake post is you want to see it...
http://momofjstk.blogspot.com/2009/08/you-know-what-i-love.html

Mimi said...

Great post showing your mommy inventiveness! I bet it was the best darn Farbie, chocolate-pumpkin-browine cake ever made!

Two Normal Moms said...

You did a great job of winging it! Nice cake - and a happy smiling girl.
***Ally
Happy SITS Day!

Charlene said...

Thanks for the play-by-play. Absolutely hilarious!

Midnitefyrfly said...

HA HA HA... that was GREAT! The story itself would have been awesome but the pics just take it away! I too would have cut off part of her legs to make it fit. You definitely made a better choice with browiniw spackle. Good looking out on the arms too. Barbie's don't smell good melting. Don't ask how I know ;)

Happy SITS Day!!!

Miss Dot said...

Haha! This was a perfect post to start off with! What a hilarious story!

Mighty M said...

I think Farbie looks most comfortable in her cushy chocolate abode! Your daughter was so happy!

Lanie said...

Ingenious I say! Funny and cute post!

Sarah Ruth said...

Biscuit's reaction is so priceless!! Definitely worth all the mini-disasters.

Happy SITS day!

Simply Valorie said...

Happy SITS day!

That. Is. Awesome. I would have stopped trying after my first failed attempt, so major props to you for sticking to it, and making something delicious. :)

The (Un)Experienced Mom said...

That was hilarious! Hey, cake is cake. No one said it had to be pretty, right? And kids' standards are usually lower than ours, so I am sure she thought that cake was the best!

www.theunexperiencedmom.com

Merry Mack said...

That is some good stuff right there! Very creative. The smile on her 3 year old face says it all supermom.

Unknown Mami said...

Well done! Farbie looks positively scrumptious.

Helen McGinn said...

Aw, I'm sooo disappointed; I searched and searched and I couldn't find Fen anywhere.....but that's onehelluvacake lass. You get the platinum medal for that one. I love how Farbie looks as you surround her by Bundt cake; "aargh, my butt really DOES look big in this!"....

noisycolorfullively said...

Brilliant! Farbie is fantastic!

Michelle said...

I always wondered how you cut into one of these and how many pieces of cake you could really eat.

Funny post!

Missy said...

That so looks like how my baking experience would turn out.

Stopping by from SITS.

Mox said...

Awesome! My Girlfriend is also enthralled at the pictures and now wants a Farbie cake of her own.

What's FTW? I am intrigued.

Happy fb day a little late!

Mox

Meg said...

At least Farbie's got some painted-on undergarments. Not sure how I would feel about eating cake that had come in contact with naked Barbie bits.

Hope you had a fabulous SITS day!

piecemeal people said...

I always make my kids a special cake for their birthdays - it's a crapshoot. Luckily, the kids always think my cakes are AWESOME. They do not have a discerning eye.