There she is. The instrument of my undoing. Farbie.
Fairy Barbie, to be exact, because a) the Biscuit loves fairies, and b) she was by far the cheapest Barbie at Target. And I needed an anorexic but buxom pantsless doll popping out of my toddler's cake.
It was like this:
Fairy Barbie = $5.98
Tinkerbell = $9.99
Disney Princess Smorgasbord including New Multicultural Princess because it's about friggin' time Mr. Disney, jeesh = $60.
So Fairy Barbie it was. Or Farbie, as I like to call her.
But that's not the whole story of this FAIL turned epic WIN. It started with a bundt cake pan and the recipe for pumpkin-chocolate cake. I doubled the recipe and planned to use a bundt pan on top of a round pan so that the cake would go all the way up Barbie's endless gams. But the cake was waaaaaay too thick, and I only ended up with enough mix to fill the bundt, and then it looked like this:
So that was a FAIL. Naked fairy chick knee-deep in crap cake! And I only had one egg left!
So I pulled out the box of brownie mix I've been planning on whipping up as a thank-you to the girls at The Coffee Park, and I made half a batch of brownies, which refused to come out of the pan and looked like this:
Yay! Second FAIL of the day. Instead of nice, dense, square brownies to pack around Farbie, I had hot brownie mud. So I used it like clay and just molded the brownie around Farbie's legs and up to her waist in a loose approximation of a dress. And then I iced the crap out of that Farbie using a cupcake decorating set I bought at Michael's.
Oh, and she had a giant 3 on her butt.
Here's what she looked like on the inside, in case you're wondering what it would look like to dissect a Farbie cake.
IT LOOKED LIKE UTTER DELICIOUSNESS.
Every slice was an amalgamation of brownie, icing, and rich pumpkin-devil's-food cake. It was so rich as to seem almost naughty. Although we did smear some purple icing over her crotch, for propriety's sake. Nothing says "Happy 3rd Birthday!" like staring at some triumphant naked lady's bajingo, eh?
And here's what she looked like on fire:
I raised her arms up so they wouldn't catch flame and set off the fire alarm and cause children to cry as Farbie's arms and face melted off like something from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Toy Chest.
And here is what she made my daughter look like as we sang Happy Birthday:
Check in for tomorrow's Party Post, showing the Biscuit and some of her dearest royal friends and subjects partying down to the tune of Blue Danube on a raging sugar high.
I gotta say it: for a toddler birthday party, it was a lot of fun. Thanks for coming, everybody!
And please stop by soon for another slice of Farbie. We've got a loooot of Farbie left over. And Farbie-it-from-me to keep anyone from a well-deserved sugar high.