Saturday, June 27, 2009

celebristink II


Are you ready? I'm going to blow your mind.

That image is entirely untouched.

I have been staring at it for hours, but I can't think of a single thing I can do with Photoshop to make it more hideous, bizarre, ridiculous, or hilarious.

I mean, there's a ribby, stick-thin billionaire heiress in a gold lame tube bra and filmy skirt, floating WITH SIX FAIRY WINGS in a star-speckled night sky over a bottle of her magical perfume, which has a picture of her as a fairy on the bottle. She's got black, leathery ribbons wrapped around legs so thin they couldn't support a flamingo, and her hair is billowing in the wind yet somehow unruffled by what must be frantically beating wings.

If I had to guess what Fairy Dust smells like, i'd assume an intoxicating combination of berries, muguet, musk, ivy, chlamydia, diamonds, and bitchiness.

4 comments:

Virginia Valerie said...

The shoes really make it. Gold peeptoes are necessary for fairying.

roseaeron said...

My favorite part is the wand. All the best fairy billionaire heiresses have them these days...

jarvenpa said...

You know, I totally would have loved this when I was 13 or so, which was a long time ago, before Paris or you were even dreams in your mama's minds. The fairy! The sparkle! The wispy-hair-ness of it all. And I'll bet your daughter someday will be all "mom, can I have some of that perfectly trashy overly expensive makeup/perfume/stuff?"
When our friends over at Black Phoenix (pause to bow before Beth's genius) brought out the Paris-related perfume, Privilege, I went ahead and bought some.
I think it was supposed to smell much as you imagine.

I loved it. All the money went to help a women's shelter or something like that, wonderful.

(I now retreat to the world outside the computer where no one can find me, after typing the I am not really a robot word, which is scande. Which must be...something to do with illegal scandals? or something?)

Caroline D. said...

I'd like to be in on the meeting where somebody had to approve that shit. That's the job I want.