Sunday, May 24, 2009

unruly review: true blood


WARNING: In this review, THERE WILL BE BLOOD.

And not like "Daniel Day Lewis walking around like a rusty coathanger with a mustache buying up oil rights to weird background music". I mean that True Blood is an HBO show about blood, sex, and drugs, and even my random and unspoiling review must take the inborn depravity of the show into account.

Now.



True Blood is HBO's adaptation of the Sookie Stackhouse novels by Charlaine Harris, which are bloody good fun. It's basically vampires + rednecks + murder + sex + drugs + serial killers + bar + voodoo + there's actually a character named "Catfish". Can you imagine anything better?

First there's Sookie, pronounced with the same oo in "book", and when Vampire Bill says it, it makes your knees go a little weak, even though he's not all that attractive when he's not saying "Sookie".


Sookie's a telepathic southern girl who lives with her grandmother in Louisiana, and Vampire Bill is the kinda dirty, pale dude who shows up to gaze creepily at her window while drinking synthetic blood. He also occasionally visits the bar where she works with her boss, Sam, and her best friend, Tara, who is a bit of a walking, drawling stereotype.


Then there's Sookie's brother, Jason, who gets in a lot of trouble, including a raging case of eggplantish priapism. Go look that one up. There's a needle involved.


And then there's Eric. Like many of the characters, he's not quite what he was written to be. But still not horribly disappointing.


I don't want to spoil too much for you. There are several different plot lines, and it's really a very rich tapestry of southern vampire horror. I definitely recommend reading the books first, because they're delightful, and then watching the entire series at night when the kids are in bed. Even the title sequence is brilliant.

But it's very bloody. And it involves maggots, baptism, and an axolotl.


And there are all sorts of boobs and tight little bottoms and general face slurping.

There's even a sort of naughty vampire bar called Fangtasia. You can get a t-shirt!


How bloody and not-child-friendly is this show?


Even Dexter wants in on the fun.

Too bad, non-sucker!

So, if you like vampires, sex, blood, humor, murder mysteries, and laughing at southern accents, I wholeheartedly recommend True Blood. I've loved these books for 5 years, and I get all giddy when a new one comes out. It's like Twilight for adults who don't mind getting a bit dirty, and you can get it at Target for $35.

And if your husband won't watch it with you, let me give you 2 words: Rogue's boobs.

That's right. The chick who plays Sookie was Rogue in X-Men, and she lets the owls out to fly, if you get my drift.

Laissez les bon temps roulez, y'all!

10 comments:

maidenshade said...

Okay, I'm sold - Also, I appreciate the time, energy and creative madness it takes to even write a post like that. Well done.

xJ

Crystal said...

Awesome review of both the show and the book, Dee. Although I know the show deviates quite spectacularly from the books, it's a fun & rowdy romp nonetheless. Can't wait for season 2 to begin - June 14th 9pm on HBO - if I recall correctly.

I am also a raging Dexter fan. Too bad we gotta wait until the fall for that little gore-nugget.

thellou said...

What a hilarious review of season 1! I loved it. Though one disagreement: Bill is hot at all times, and not just when he's saying "Sookie." ;)

faemom said...

I thought the show was pretty cool, and I've been meaning to check out the books. Thanks for the recommendation. And my husband doesn't watch it as he talks about how disgusting it is to see a centuries old man with a twenty something girl or in Twilight, an eighty-something man with a 16 year old. Yeah, he's no fun. We don't watch together.

Spotted Sparrow said...

Yes! I've been waiting for this to come back.

Kristi said...

I laugh every time Bill says "Sookie", because his bizarre British-guy-attempting-a-Civil-War-era-Southern-gentleman accent makes it sound like "Sucky." Heh.

The opening credits are icky, but the theme song is brilliant!

Lise said...

Thanks to your recommendation, I got the first disc from Blockbuster today, and even my husband enjoyed it. Four thumbs up!

Lindsay Rudolph said...

My husband and I are hooked to that show!! We loved both seasons of it. Jason Stackhouse grew on me. He's not so bright...good thing he's a hottie!

Adrian's Crazy Life said...

True Blood is my new guilty secret. I've been getting it in installments from Blockbuster.com, but it's so close to porn, I feel like I need a shower after I watch it. It's mesmerizing though. I'm on about episode 8 and now I've got my hubby hooked on it. I'm looking forward to reading the books now.

Miss Dot said...

Your commentary kills me! Bwahahaha... albino bat. I must say, though, I'm a little disappointed at how they're choosing to portray Eric. I love him! :(