Wednesday, May 27, 2009

twigs n' berries


I'm going to make it quick, because I am exhausted.

But, seriously, how many kids' toys look like genitalia?

Surely the designers are aware of this epidemic.

And don't even get me started on popsicles.

***

First of all, we have a new toy passed down from some wonderful friends. We call it "Whack-a-Noonie", because our family has replaced horrible epithets with the phrase "Noonie Birds".

As in, "That noonie bird can't drive worth a noonie!"

As in, "Should I worry that my child likes this toy so much?"

She runs around, smacking the poor little... things... and hollering WHACKANOONIE-WHACKANOONIE-WHACKANOONIE!!!

And they... um... they pop in and out of holes. In a bed.


It's so blatant that I felt dirty trying to put my usual words and scraggly arrows on there.



And then we have our favorite kids' flatware from Ikea.


I know it's not quite as bad... but why on earth does a spoon need testicles?

Does it impregnate whisks while I sleep? Does it enjoy spooning out the yogurt a leeeetle too much? Can I honestly watch my child eat with this spoon tomorrow, after sharing these thoughts with you?

I'm just sayin'.

8 comments:

Leslie said...

I know right, I about peed myself reading your post tonight... You are going to write a book, right? My children are grown but grands loom...

Caroline D. said...

I believe you are filled with visions of male genitalia. Did I mention that once I saw an erect penis in your pear painting giveaway I could never look at it without seeing that?

Now I have probably ruined it for you, too, sorry...

Just, maybe, you know, it's even deeper in your subconscious than you thought.

oh crap, I didn't even mean to go there... i'm going to stop now.

Kelee Katillac said...

Delilah!! You are hysterical! The first one is border-lie but the second.... bizarre!!! Thanks for the laugh!

Tammy Howard said...

I disagree. The spoon is worse than the Whack-a-noonie.

maidenshade said...

Good Morning, OMG, that was so funny! My children would really appreciate it since they are all in their 30's, heh heh heh. But it's (unfortunately?) a true observation.

Caroline - I believe we ALL are filled with visions of male genitalia, be ye man or woman, lol.

It's been a very challenging week here at MaidenShade. Working through blog issues, thinking of possible posts - and rueing the fact I'm not visiting everyone. Please, don't forget about me; )

Today's post is on some basics of HTML just in case that is something you're interested in. It does come in handy for working in blog posts, webpages, and listings if you have a store.

xJ
MaidenShade.wordpress.com

katiri said...

Well, the spoon looks more like a genitalia-inspired sex toy than the real deal, and like Caroline, I suspected I had aroused your pears painting from Day One.
that bedbugs game (if i recall it's name correctly) might give Biscuit just the right message for this age, until she's at least 25!
D, check your KC inbox, for a linky to a contest you surely could dominate.

Jennifer said...

Darn, I never noticed that about those spoons (yet it is so very obvious). We only have 30 of them...time to find new spoons.

merlu said...

Oh my.
The spoon is much, much worse. You don't have to put the Whack-a-Noonie thing in your mouth!