Most preschool days, I ready my child for public viewing and retire to the lounge to eat bonbons and watch my "stories" while wearing feathery high-heeled slippers and a vintage kimono.
In actuality, on the days that my beloved Dr. Crog takes the Biscuit to school, I clean, I paint, I organize, I shop, or I take a much-needed nap next to my favorite roly-poly parasite. Those 3 hours are magical and beautiful and rejuvenating. But on the days that *I* take her to school, i'm stuck. I don't want to drive 9 miles back home and then 9 miles back to preschool, but I also don't want to spend money if I can help it. So I go to my parents' house, which is comfortable and conveniently located less than 2 miles from school.
And when i'm there, I have two choices: settle my lazy betonk into the butt-shaped dent in the couch and eat Twix out of the freezer, or play Wii Fit. So today, I played Wii Fit. It's fun, it's easy, it's available, and it's just the right amount of exercise for my still-recovering postpartum body.
But i'll let you in on a little secret, if you promise not to tell my mom: my main goal is simply to beat her scores. For no good reason. It's diabolical, really.
In fact, I think that's the main premise of Wii: to try to best your friends and family at games that make absolutely no sense. It's practically a drinking game.
The Strength and Yoga sections are pretty straightforward and for the more hardcore living room exercise enthusiast... but the Balance and Aerobics portions are ridiculous. I mean, head-butting soccer balls by leaning left or right defies all logic. It doesn't matter where your head is-- it matters which leg is carrying more of your weight. And then you get hit with a decapitated panda head. Quoi?
I find the most frustrating part of Wii is the Step Aerobics portion. It goes very slowly, and your score is based solely on timing. How well you step on the board at exactly the same moment as the other little dudes, who are doing their aerobics on a stage, in front of a cheering crowd, under disco balls.
But i've taken a Step Aerobics class, and it was very, very different. It was actually... aerobic. Had me jumping around like an idiot, trying desperately to keep up, huffing and puffing. And there were definitely no disco balls.
I suppose I just wonder how much the Wii is actually helping the Wii-obsessed people across America. I would love to see some statistics on folks who are actually losing weight with the Wii and tracking their goals every day with that little foot stamp. I'm guessing that most folks do a lot more bowling and ski-jumping than yoga and strength training. Because, in all honesty, who wants to play a video game that freakin' hurts?
In any case, it's better than sitting on the couch, eating frozen Twix.
Of which I ate 3 after 26 minutes of Wii.
Because I wanted to.