Friday, January 30, 2009

...so what's the secret handshake?

I never dreamed it would be so, but I am now part of large club.

The "My Kid Played in the Toilet" club.

And I assure you, she has been firmly scrubbed within an inch of her life.

I used to think that such a thing would never happen to me, that my canny combination of general supervision and concise explanation would make it clear that hands never, ever go in the toilet. When Chlorox finally figured it out and started making those 2-foot-long toilet brushes, i'm sure they made a mint. Because no one should *want* to put their hands in the toilet. UGH.

Except 2 year olds. Because their entire existence is spurred by curiosity. Just like cats, who also like to play in the toilet. Constant indoor water source. Right there. Perfect. UGH.

She's on the brink of potty training, was an inch away from going the whole day without a diaper, and then, SPLASH, she's potty diving. And I can't do anything about it because i'm trapped under a hungry baby. So it's either diapers, or trust her alone in the bathroom. One costs more monetarily, one costs more mentally and hygienically. UGH.

So, for those of you who are watching me smugly and laughing as I stumble into the pitfalls of parenthood against my will (STINE!), my child has now drawn all over the wall with a pencil, eaten a chocolate chip cookie, publically identified an obese person in her outside voice, and played in the toilet.

You can still place your bets on public screaming temper tantrums, sipping a beer, and losing her at the mall.



4 comments:

katiri said...

Oh, honey! I think the secret handshake should NOT be one that involves touching. Just relax, you're doing fine.

Angela said...

Things change with two, huh? At least for me it did, due to simple logistics!!

Hope to see you three soon!

Cranky Mama said...

Welcome to the world of two children. My husband called it "the Silkwood". The scrubbing down from head to toe in the shower of the child that has been potty diving.

The worst though, is finding my child scrubbing the toilet with my toothbrush. I have to wonder if this is the first time? Or has he done it many times and then just put it back in the holder?

stinestrain said...

"So, for those of you who are watching me smugly and laughing as I stumble into the pitfalls of parenthood against my will (STINE!), my child has now drawn all over the wall with a pencil, eaten a chocolate chip cookie, publically identified an obese person in her outside voice, and played in the toilet."

this made me chuckle, for a long time, in a low, very evil sounding way.