Monday, January 19, 2009

I eat kittens.

I read today that PETA's newest "ingenious" campaign aims to bring a face to that lowly denizen of the sea that suffers so painfully for the greedy gobs of America: fish.

That's right. Fish.

Don't worry about the cattle crowded into dark buildings and fed sawdust before being strung up alive by hooks through their ankles. Don't give a thought to chickens plucking themselves and each other bloody in cages the size of shoe boxes. But consider the fish, who swims mindlessly through the oceans, blissfully unevolved.

In my humble, used-to-be-vegan-and/or-vegetarian opinion, this is the biggest waste of time, money, and brain cells in the history of a very questionable organization. Be they wild or farmed, fish don't appear to suffer very much. They're healthy, low in fat, and not particularly endearing. They can't even blink.

But some big-hearted brainiac in PETA really, really wants you to stop eating fish, so they're calling them "sea kittens" to make you *really* think about it. They've got an entire website dedicated to re-branding fish as "sea kittens", giving them faces and personalities and mustaches and other endearing qualities that fish really, really don't have.

We dress up our cats and dogs and love them like family, but PETA has been thus far unsuccessful in translating these warm, fuzzy feelings to even such obviously personable animals as cows, chickens, and pigs.

And not only are they not helping fish, but they're alienating even more possible supporters by branding themselves as wasteful, idiotic yahoos.

But I digress. My point is this: if you want to save animals, throw your money and time at one that is actually suffering. As Dr. Crog just said, "We don't even treat humans ethically, and they're wasting money on fish?"

And now I will go put two salmon filets in the fridge to defrost for tomorrow night's Lemon Pepper Sea Kitten with green beans and brown rice. And i'll draw little mustaches on them in the name of PETA.

Idiots.

2 comments:

Heather said...

Penn & Teller did an episode on PETA in their Showtime show (to be known only as BS for the more delicate members of your audience) that I think is worth watching. "Sea Kittens" is only the latest in their absurd movement. They also object to having pets (we've enslaved the poor animal). I recommend it for your edification. You can get it on Netflix. Besides, Penn & Teller are awesome, and I enjoy excuses to share them. :D

stinestrain said...

"Be they wild or farmed, fish don't appear to suffer very much."

fish farming is actually MUY bad for the environment. The fish my not suffer but the earth does :(

PETA is stupid though.