Monday, December 1, 2008

I owe it all to Kotex

Yes, Virginia, sometimes we all have those "not so fresh" days. Especially in the weeks following childbirth, when a woman can feel like some sort of bodily vending machine.

Disgusting, but true.

Luckily, the fine people at Kotex have gotten on the advertising bandwagon to make our trips to the loo both interesting and instructional. I am speaking, of course, of their "Kotex Tips for Life" campaign, which is handily printed on the sticky backing of their fine maxi-pads. Because when you're in severe pain and peeing lightning, you might want to get some health tips from your feminine hygiene products.

Here are today's handy tips:

* Avoiding caffeine may help reduce cramps and headaches.

* Drink 6 - 8 glasses of water daily to help keep you hydrated and feeling fresh.

* Staying active during your period can help relieve cramps.

* Try Kotex Lightdays Pantiliners... also available in Longs, Extra Coverage and Purse-Paks.

Wait, you don't speak English? Ne t'en fais pas! The tips are also listed in Francais and Espanol.

I am just flabbergasted. I have always considered billboards to be the most ridiculous form of advertising, as the last thing a driver needs is to take their eyes off the highway to read the 1-800 number of a cheap divorce lawyer. But now i'm entranced by the marketing geniuses who think that reading bathroom trash should be enlightening. Or influence my purchasing agenda.

Oh, drink more water? Thank you! MUST. BUY. KOTEX!

Harumph. Just another reason to go cloth.

1 comment:

stinestrain said...

you think that's bad? always has "have a happy period" on theirs.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/208351190.html