Bad: living in a 36 weeks pregnant body.
Badder: getting a cold/sinus infection while living in a 36 weeks pregnant body.
Badderest: realizing that laying pathetically on the couch in a cold/sinus infection coma in a 36 weeks pregnant body makes you a very easy target for your toddler's every whim and desire. Honestly, I feel like Napoleon's body servant. If I eat another fake cupcake, i'm going to vomit fake vomit all over her cute little pants.
* * *
It's funny to think that when I used to work in Cubeland, being sick was actually kinda fun. You got sympathy at work, stopped on the way home for nasty comfort foods, and then went into a Nyquil fugue while scarfing mint Milanos and watching your favorite movies in a cozy, dark room in your comfy bed. And you weren't in your cube! And they were pretty much paying you to be there, whether through PTO or sick time. Ahhhhh.
Now, it's just adding insult to injury. I am already unwieldy, klutzy, congested, nauseated, and exhausted most of the time. I've been taking 2 probiotic pills and at least 2000 mg of vitamin C a day to keep my immune system up. And this is what I get?
Life, I demand a nanny, some 7 UP, a Ryan Reynolds movie, and lots of homemade chicken soup. And a milkshake. And a coma. And some new socks. And a coma.