Friday, October 10, 2008

10 things I refuse to believe

1. There are actually prominently placed "children's books" about Obama and McCain on the front shelf at B&N. You know, for the children. Because there's nothing a kid likes better than a really boring book with dull, patriotic illustrations about the exaggerated highlights of an old man's life.

2. Leonardo diCaprio has wrinkles, Johnny Depp smokes, and Heath Ledger is dead.

3. Renee Zellweger and Penelope Cruz eat food. Like, that's made out of food.

4. Cap'n Crunch will make me feel more Crunchtastic as measured by the Crunch-o-meter.

5. Unicorns and the Loch Ness Monster don't exist.

6. Anybody liked the movie Burn After Reading. Or Punch Drunk Love. Or Gigli.

7. OJ didn't do it. Because they've finally admitted he did. Only took 12 years.

8. That Blue Ray is the wave of the future. Seriously, guys: I've got an entire armoire full of VHS tapes I still watch, and another armoire full of DVDs. Please don't make me rebuy any more media. How many copies of Total Recall and the Star Wars Trilogy can one family have??

9. That the national c-section rate is over 30%. And that the rising statistic has nothing to do with time and money. And that women are okay with it.

10. That people still send forwards about orange toilet spiders, Penny Brown, and AIDS needles. And that my mom receives every single one of them and sends them directly to *me*.

Baffling. Just baffling.


2 comments:

dr. wigglebutt said...

hmm...i strongly urge you to reconsider the crunchtasticness of cap'n crunch. it is not something that requires faith, just an acceptance that cap'n crunch in flake form would be suicidal madness.

mamamilkers said...

My love for Punch Drunk Love runs very, very deep.