We acquired a new vehicle in December, and a survey company called Strategic Vision Inc. sends us a survey every month requesting our invaluable input. Normally, I like surveys. I like to express my opinion. You know, hence the blog.
But this survey is... dastardly. Imbecilic. Ridiculous. It's 8 pages of tiny type, asking me to rate things like "appearance of taillights" and "quality of steering column" on a scale of Delightful to Failure. Hundreds and hundreds of items, and I must rack my brain to decide if they are Delightful or Excellent or worse. Seriously, is anyone really "delighted" about their speedometer?
Each time they send it, I think, "Yes, I must fill out this survey so they won't send more," and each time, I get to page 2, crumple it up, and mentally label the feeling of throwing it in the trash "Delightful".
So this time, the 4th time, I wrote the following on an index card that I plan to put in their "free postage" envelope:
I am pregnant with a toddler and do not have several hours to tell you that I find the steering column on my new vehicle "Delightful". If you seriously want this much feedback, try offering a monetary incentive other than nebulous charitable contributions. I will tell you that I like everything about my vehicle except the pushy sales process and the razor wire under the back seat that nearly sliced my finger to the bone last night, causing me to bleed all over the floor mats. I am amazed that anyone EVER takes the time to answer this many frivolous questions.
It's anonymous, of course, but I feel i'm sharing my "strategic vision" with them. Life is too short to spend this much time providing free opinions. If your survey is more than 2 pages or uses the word "Delightful" more than 50 times, you owe me. I take cash, checks, Paypal, and those free Little People DVDs that come with the toy playsets.