Monday, January 14, 2008

In for a penny, in for a pound.

As a former fat kid, I constantly ride my mother about her lifestyle of inactivity and chocolate. I want her to be able to run after Cleo and future children for years to come, and I know she's not happy with what she currently sees in the mirror.

So today, when I was craving Justix, I figured she would be able to enjoy healthful grilled meats, brown rice, and steamed veggies galore. Then Cleo fell asleep in the car, and we had to reset our dining plans. She said she would bring Chik-fil-A home while Cleo snoozed, and I was looking forward to the most healthful grease the fast food world can provide.

And she brought grilled chicken wraps with fat free honey mustard.

Have you tasted these things? They're like wet, cold cardboard tossed with slightly crunchy cardboard, wrapped in toilet paper. For $4. Seriously. No fries, no lemonade, no nuggets. Just two grilled cardboard supremes with corn syrup sauce.

And that's what's wrong with the world. Fast food restaurants attempting to make healthy food always fail. Always. So when fat people go to fast food restaurants and purchase healthy food, they find that it tastes horrible, and they go back to unhealthy eating and get fatter. In for a penny, in for a pound, I always say. If you're going to be good, be very good. If you're going to be bad, be awful.

And whatever you are, never ever eat grilled chicken wraps at Chik-fil-A.

2 comments:

Isabel Aven said...

well, it's all a conspiracy to keep sucking the fat out of wallets? not our waistlines, right? uh huh.

Evan said...

Doc Greens is the tastiest healthy food I know of. Of course - ask the person I most often eat with and they will kick, scream, gag and generally recoil away from the rabbit food of my preference.

But we all know I have better taste anyway.

I suppose you don't have a Doc Greens way up there huh? Bummer.